Randomness: Part 3

So, here’s the thing, boys and girls.

If you suddenly feel the uncontrollable need to look at naked women on the internet, go to a porn site. That’s what they’re there for. Plus, you get the added bonus of NOT being a complete and total douchebag by contributing to something that could ruin people’s lives.

Just a thought.

Randomness: Part 2

So I had an epiphany this morning while sitting in traffic, watching the lady in the beige Volvo ahead of me fix her hair.

…As much as we Americans love to heap praise on our Founding Fathers for making this “Great Nation” possible, I sometimes wonder. How shocked would many of us be if said historical figures were brought back to life one day, and to a man, only had one thing to say? Specifically the phrase, “My God, what the actual fuck were you people thinking?!”

analyzingtaylor
analyzingtaylor:


Does she bring a drill with her?

her water bottles have straws that are somehow drilled through the caps.
perhaps they’re just customized…..some people only like straws.
perhaps it is a security measure to keep anyone from touching it.
EDIT: anon suggests it might just be a anti-smudge technique for dealing with lipstick

LOL!  Am I the only one who finds this post hysterical?

analyzingtaylor:

Does she bring a drill with her?

her water bottles have straws that are somehow drilled through the caps.

perhaps they’re just customized…..some people only like straws.

perhaps it is a security measure to keep anyone from touching it.

EDIT: anon suggests it might just be a anti-smudge technique for dealing with lipstick

LOL! Am I the only one who finds this post hysterical?

Anonymous asked:

I get what you're saying, but big cats are so majestic and beautiful! Not gonna lie, I'd own one if I could.

Hey, that’s your prerogative, to each their own. I just don’t see the appeal of owning a “pet” that could (and most likely would, knowing my luck) decide to eat me if I forget to feed it one day.

Anonymous asked:

I deal with two-year-old temper tantrums on a regular basis. A little different, but not much ;) Totally get it!

Having experienced both, I can honestly say that 14-year-old temper tantrums are MUCH MUCH worse than 2-year-old temper tantrums.

I think it has something to do with the fact that they’ve had 12 more years to scheme and plot in preparation for the day when they would unleash their hormonally imbalanced lunacy unto the world.

Randomness

So I was surfing YouTube today on the federal government’s dime (as one often does), when I stumbled onto some videos about people with exotic pets. And I couldn’t help but wonder, “What was so wrong with cats and dogs, that this person simply had to have a Siberian tiger instead?”